Why Modern Life Feels Fragmented

  Lately, I haven’t been able to shake how fragmented modern life feels.

  How pervasive and subtle this fragmentation is also contributes to how jarring it feels once you notice it.

  It is difficult to even recognize since we are all born into this system and it is simply our normal living. We are all fed into a machine that prioritizes efficiency, compliance, and scale over meaning. And, in return, we get to live in the ease and comfort of all modern society has to offer, but at what cost?

  As I have been driving home from work to spend the rest of the evening with family, or after putting the kids to bed and picking up one of my hobbies, or while doing my workout of static exercises to make sure each muscle group is worked, it begins to dawn on me how separated all the pieces of my life are.

  My life at work and my life at home have almost no overlap whatsoever, work just acting as an income generator; time with family is a joy and a blessing but feels segmented and sectioned to one part of the day; my hobbies are things I am passionate about or things that impact me in a meaningful way but don’t typically overflow to the other areas of life; rather than movement and exercise being a normal part of daily living, it is necessary to, again, have a chunk of time sectioned off for fitness so the other parts can be dedicated to their ‘silos.’

  And these mostly just serve as a means-to-an-end:

  But they don’t necessarily feel connected as a ‘whole.’

  Work and home-life don’t act as one, interconnected entity. Passions are not what drive work but rather what is marketable, leaving passions delegated to hobbies. Exercise is not integrated into daily living within these other parts, but rather must be delegated to its own time.

  And this is almost by design within today’s modern way of living. It was built with efficiency, compliance, and scale in mind, not meaningful living. If you simply let modern society carry you within the way it is naturally created to function, this ‘disintegrated’ existence is how you will end up by default. 

  From a young age, we are taught to fragment our lives. We have school, home, homework, sports or extracurricular activities, and all the rest. This naturally becomes the list of fragmented parts I have already mentioned as you grow older. This fragmentation is for the sake of efficiency, for the sake of the system, to output as much as possible as quickly as possible. 

  And we do benefit from this, we get all the luxuries and comforts of modern society, practically at the click of a button, but this requires living by a clock that never stops and a system that requires your labor to continue flourishing, and the cost is the compartmentalization of our lives.

  What has also struck me lately is how at odds this model is with all the stories that are most meaningful to me. The characters from the stories I enjoy the most are almost always living an integrated life.

  Their meaning and purpose is completely intertwined in whatever work they set out to do, whether that is as colossal as saving the world or as unceremonious as living peacefully in a quiet town. Their relationships are integral to their daily living and none are simply a means to something. Their goals and values are what drive them in all that they do. Even when they fall short, they learn and grow through their trials and flaws.

  Stories can often feel like just entertainment, especially when we are as over saturated with them as we are currently (just another output of the system) but the truly meaningful ones, the ones that poured out of the deepest recesses of someone’s heart, don’t just entertain. They help point us to something deeper, more powerful than simply being entertained. They guide us into what it looks like to live more meaningfully. They show us what it means for a life to hold together, to be fully integrated instead of divided., acting as a whole, and emphatically living, not just surviving.

  I think that is part of what draws humans so deeply to stories: that they highlight the contrast between what we have let life become and everything it can be.

  I’m hoping to examine these stories and glean all they have to say: about life, meaning, relationships, interconnectedness, integration, and everything in between.

  I don’t have all the answers to what I’m currently feeling; I am just as much a part of this system as everyone else. But, I don’t think the answer is to jump to the other end of the spectrum, abandon your life, and live as a hermit in the forest. As a matter of fact, from what I’ve noticed so far, I don’t think it has as much to do with what you are doing so much as with how you are going about it and for what purpose.

  I’m learning that it is about setting forth values and pursuing those values rather than just letting life drag you along its default path. Questioning everything you are doing and, more importantly, why you are doing it. Why do you work where you work? Why do you live where you live? Why do you spend the time doing what you do? And are the answers you currently have your own answers or answers someone or something else has thrust upon you?

  I am working on these same questions and have only just begun this journey into ‘de-fragmenting’ my life.

  This blog is part of moving toward an integrated life: reflecting on stories, the impact they have on us, and what they can tell us about meaning; exploring how modern life is fragmented and ways to unify its various parts; and things I’m building in a more meaningful manner.

  It seems integration isn’t something we stumble into, but rather something we build intentionally.

  I don’t know what I’ll find on this journey and I don’t know where it will take me, but I know it is the step I want to take to see what I will find. I hope you’ll join me.